War on Everyone

War on Everyone

DVD - 2017
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Terry and Bob are two crooked cops who frame and blackmail criminals all over town. Looking for the ultimate pay-off, they try to extort a strip club manager and his eccentric, junkie boss, but get more than they bargained for when their hair-brained scheme uncovers a bigger, darker secret.


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May 15, 2018

Over the top outrageous and darkly humorous. Beware....at times it is so despicable that you just want to hit the eject button---but do not. It is clever and redeems itself culminating in a just ending that no one could ever see coming. This is adult entertainment and not for minors.

Apr 02, 2018

A pulpy masterpiece. Outrageously bad police officers, hilarious murder scenes, the most adorable dance scene ever. Worth the watch.

Mar 25, 2018

This turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would be when I first started watching it. It reminded me of a Tarantino movie, but really funny. During one scene, I laughed so hard, I had to do an asthma puffer. If you're in the mood for a good laugh (and can look past some of the gore), you'll love this movie.

Feb 15, 2018

Wow what a surprize! I thought it was going to be another dual boys police story but it turned out to be quite well done with a storyline.

Jan 30, 2018

Shocked Pena would do such a low life movie. It is an offence to police officers everywhere and their families.

Dec 22, 2017

Brilliant! This is how Tarantino wished he could make a movie, bizarre and twisted without the hipster smart-alecky stuff.

Nov 15, 2017

Way off-center comedy of very, very dark humor. Peña and Skarsgård play very well off one another as "rogue" New Mexico cops robbing from the rich criminals while living the comfortable life. It is violent, bloody, gory and cleanly sexual with nudity . . . so not your kids' movie. The cynical script is good and dangerously funny (you much have a "taste" for it, the plotline works, the acting is excellent, the cars are "sweet," Iceland is pretty and so is New Mexico. Blood and violence stopped its 5th star.

Oct 16, 2017

It seems like this film is trying to be a few too many different things in one -- off-color comedy, retro-stylish, buddy film, bad cops ..... It seems like it could be a good film if a few of these things were cut out, IMO especially the off-color comedy -- I have a broad sense of humor but I even found this flick a turn off, even to say it appears as an unfortunate chapter in Pena & Skarsgard's careers. All together I found this to be a confabulation of noise that distracts from the story ... in fact I'm not entirely sure there is a whole story line, the noise makes the continuity hard to follow. My suggestion -- you're better off (re)watching the new Man From Uncle, maybe some of the new Ocean's 11 films, etc .... but skip this >:(

Jul 11, 2017

An entertaining odd crime comedy on two rogue cops who were on a rampage looking to beat up criminals and privatize their loots. The two loved Glen Campbell music. One erudite quoted Buddha and Turnus (who shouted out in Virgil's Aeneid - fortune favours the bold.) Both were most vile. But give them a break ... they were on a mission to neutralize a brutal gang who owned the law and "did things to" children!

Jun 28, 2017

No, the two people who already trashed this movie were not wrong...I tried watching this steaming heap of Hollywood %^$# on Netflix a while back, and I also had to turn it off after maybe 30 minutes. The tip off that this is a horrible piece of crap? It was under a different title before. Yes, you know when they resort to trying to actually fool people like that that it is one of those movies even the Hollywood lowlife knew it wasn't worth releasing. Bet the actors are regretting ever getting involved too, that's all I can say. So no, don't worry...your funny bone is NOT broken, this is what passes for "comedy" in Hollywood these days...and it ain't funny, not at all.

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Jul 11, 2017

Offensive language:
I've always wondered if you hit a mime, does he make a sound?
He called me a wetback! He knows damn well I was born here! He's a big, fat, racist pig is what he is!
-Yes! He's a big, fat, racist pig. Granted. No argument there, guys. But look around. This is the police department. We're surrounded by big, fat, racist pigs.
I'm actually dyslexic. All right? And I find that statement to be highly discriminatory.
-Are you an actor? Because they all seem to be dyslexic nowadays. It used to be called stupidity.

I thought you guys didn't drink.
-How do you mean?
I'm a Five Percenter.
Rumour is he's shacked up with her.
-You have an address?
No, but I do know she works at the, uh, this club, Knockouts. Yeah. Of course, that means you two will actually have to do, you know, "Police work".
-Now, don't be getting obstreperous with me, motherfxcker. I'll knock your ass into Indochina.

Jul 11, 2017

"All oppression creates a state of war." Simone de Beauvoir.
-No, it's Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, the father of anarchism. It's not Simone de Beauvoir, the feminist existentialist.
I bet you 50 bucks.
- I'll take that bet.
What's thrush, Pop?
-Thrush ... is a small to medium-sized songbird.
Yo-yos were once, um, outlawed in Damascus.
- Huh!
It was believed that they were causing a drought.
Welcome back, boys! How did we enjoy our sabbatical?
-It was very pleasant, it was very relaxing.
--I masturbated a lot.
"Enforced sabbatical", I should have said.
--What's a "sabbatical"?
Okay. So Laurel and Hardy here, huh? Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Siegfried and Roy, Sacco and Vanzetti, Abelard and Hlose.
-Rumours are the mothers of invention.
--No, necessity's the mother of invention.
-What are rumours, then?
--Rumours are...
Silencio! Assaulting a fellow officer, that's one thing. Bribery and corruption charges against you and that's it, that's goodnight, Irene.

Jul 11, 2017

So why'd you become a cop? Your heart doesn't exactly seem to be in it.
-I guess I always wanted to "pervert" the course of justice. Plus you can shoot people for no reason.Nobody can do a goddamn thing about it.
-Any sign of Reynard?
No, he's still in there.
-What's going on in the big wide world? Two hundred people died in an earthquake in Peru.
Who gives a fxck? Peruvians?
Who's this arshole?
Looks like a douchebag.
-He was a really intelligent guy. He wrote a well-regarded monograph
on Andr Breton. And he had a nice dick.
I love cheerleaders. Is this part of your act?
-I'm a majorette, moron.
I love majorettes, too. I ain't prejudiced.

Jul 11, 2017

What happened to the driver?
-He got away.
Oh. Was he a Latin, Caucasian or Negro gentleman?
-African American, yes.
Apparently, he's a Quaker.
-A Quaker? I thought they abhor violence. Was it a good shoot or a bad shoot?
Well... that's what we would call a "contentious issue".
The vertigo is not the fear of falling but the fear of wanting to fall.
I don't think this is right, man. They're not gonna knock over a fxcking mosque. They'll have ISIS on their asses. Or al-Qaida. Hey, is it al-Qaida or al-Qaeda?
-You say al-Qaeda, I'll say al-Qaida.
I say al-Qaida, you say al-Qaeda.
-Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda.
I'll ask Bob, he'll know.
-Let me know what he says.
There's no plot in these things any more. Just straight in there. No preamble, no nothing.
-Oh, yeah. Take it!
Where's the romance? Starts and ends with the script.
-You ain't got a good script...

Jul 11, 2017

And besides, "fortune favours the bold." You know where that's from? Greek mythology.
A guy named Turnus said it just before another guy named Aeneas popped a cap in his ass. It's just like my mother said. You're too damn smart for your own damn good.
Oh, I hate murder! It really upsets me. But more importantly, where's the loot?
You don't put up much of a fight, do you? Fxcking Stephen Hawking could knock you out.
-I'm a lover, not a fighter.
What's the plan for finding Reggie? It's gonna be tough tracking him down
without anything to go on. Isn't it?
-Well, he's black. How many fucking black people do you think there are in Iceland? We just stand around here and keep our eyes open.
That's not much of a plan, Bob.
A million dollars?
-It's a nice, round number. That's my favourite round number.
We don't need a million dollars to retire.
Not if you're gonna get killed going after it.

Jul 11, 2017

But to put your mind at ease, I shall have a word with them. Give them a little reducer, as we say in good old England.
-Yeah? What if it doesn't take?
Eat your grapes, Russell. Eat your grapes.
I've just realised what you remind me of, Russell. A bloody Cyclops.
-I don't know what that means and you know I don't.
You never read the Odyssey at school, Russell? You do surprise me. I read it in the original Greek when I was travelling through the Peloponnese with my father.
So Reggie is gay, huh?
-If Kimberly has a dick, which I'm assuming she does, then that would make Reggie gay, yes. Possibly bisexual.
Well, what if Kimberly doesn't have... Like, if she's already...
-That's a good question. That would make Kimberly a woman, which would make Reggie straight.
Would it?
-With an asterisk.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-on-everyone

Jul 11, 2017

Hey, can you be a feminist and still wear hotpants?
What are we gonna do?
-Well, we gotta call Social Services.
Social Services?
Might as well sell him to the fxcking Philippines.
-What, you wanna adopt a "homles" kid?
-Yeah, I can do that.
-I'm not putting him back on the street.
Do you think it's easy looking after a kid? I got two of 'em and it's not easy,
let me tell you. I mean, yeah, okay, I love 'em but I gotta feed them 24 hours a day.
There's no Glen Campbell. Unbelievable.
-Put on some Elvis, I'm sure they got some Elvis. You know he died on the can?
Him and Judy Garland. What were they doing on...
-Not at the same time.

Jul 11, 2017

I hate jellyfish. I wonder how in the hell it got out here?
-Maybe it fell from a spaceship. Is it true they can sting you even when they're dead?
-No, I think when they're dead, they're dead.
They're immortal, though.
Jellyfish, they're immortal. Bob told me.
-Just because Bob says something doesn't mean it's true.
Yeah, it does.
I'm telling you this as a friend. He's gonna get you killed. You know that, don't you?
-Well, with all due respect, you were never a friend of mine. You were more a glorified fxcking acquaintance.
You can't carry out that level of harassment and think you can get away with it. If the guy was an Arab, yeah.
We just came here to say that we know everything about you and we're onto you.
-You don't know the first thing about me.
Oh, story time, okay.

Jul 11, 2017

You know that in Somalia only men have gravestones? Walt Whitman was buried without his brain. Descartes was buried without his right hand. So you never wonder who created this whole shebang?
It's like where does the universe begin and where does it end? And if you can't tell me that, you can't tell me God doesn't exist. But then again, Pythagoras believed that after you're dead, your soul goes into a fxcking green bean.
Anyway, in 1970, Mishima attempted a coup on his native Japan. The coup failed and Mishima committed seppuku, or ritual disembowelment, if you prefer. The second-in-command was supposed to behead him at the culmination of the ritual but the poor chap was so bloody nervous that he missed. Mishima's bloody head was hanging off him, quite literally. Another chap had to step in to finish him off. Let's hope I don't miss, eh?

Jul 11, 2017

-You're quoting fxcking Buddha now?
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind
on the present moment.
If I don't help you, what, are you gonna bust me for possession?
-Educated man, Terry!
You know, one day, these students were taking a philosophy exam. And at the start, the tutor grabs a chair, puts it on a desk and says, "For your last test, "prove this chair exists." So everyone's scribbling away, except one guy. He writes two words, gets up, hands his paper to the tutor, leaves the class. Tutor looks at it and on it, it says, "What chair?" ...
-What does that actually mean?
It's not supposed to mean anything. It's like a Zen koan. Just ponder on it.
-Just ponder on it?
Yeah. I fxcked it up, though. I was supposed to say, "Prove the chair doesn't exist."
-Ah! So it doesn't exist, huh?


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